You’re Not Whipped

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Whipped? It’s a slang term.

It’s a common belief that when a man answers to every whim of his wife, he is “whipped”.  For example, imagine that we see a couple shopping in a dress shop. The husband/boyfriend is following his wife/girlfriend around, and is carrying her purse while she is empty handed. As she shops, he is forced to pay for and carry all her purchases while she remains empty handed. This my friends, is “whipped”.

So where am I going with this? Good question.

Sometimes we mistake “serving” our wives with being “whipped”. At first glance one might sound just as bad as the other, but it really isn’t. In fact, it’s the opposite. When your wife forces you to cater to her every whim, and threatens to leave or becomes difficult when you don’t comply, that’s a bad situation. It’s more than being whipped, and it might be time to seek some Christian counseling for your relationship.

Serving your wife is a different story, and I’m not referring to making breakfast in bed or carrying her purse around (which if you must carry, make sure to hold it like a football). Serving your wife can be as simple as doing things for her that you know she hates doing. Like her portion of the chores in the house, or opening her car door. Maybe it could be sending her off for a spa day, or taking her on the shopping spree she’s always wanted. Serving your wife also consists of being her spiritual council. Spending time in devotion, and leading her as you seek Christ together.

As men, sometimes we think of these actions as being whipped. I mean, what do we get in return? When is she going to do my chores? Or send me to a football game with my boys? While she might, she’s not required to. See as men, we are the leaders. With being a leader, you have great responsibility. There are tons of scriptures in the Bible about this, but I’m not going to bombard you this time. Maybe another day. I know for a fact that some of the people who read my blog aren’t Christians, and I’m just trying to give you real talk right now in a quick nugget (I’m sure my ministry friends will smack me later). Just know that women look to us to be a great many things to them. We are not just leaders and providers, we are also friends. Be your wife’s friend, and I promise, she might just send you to that football game.

-PJ

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The Gift

This is a short story from the perspective of an angel. I’ve completely taken creative license in writing it as Biblical Fiction. It’s my vision of what happened during the Biblical creation of “woman”. This would have taken place in Genesis 2.  Please feel free to share, it’s a reminder of how special women are.  –PJ

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THE GIFT

I watched as God put Adam into a deep sleep. None of us knew what his plans were, but then again, who questions God? With precision, a God who spoke the world into existence, opened Adam’s chest and removed a precious rib. God took the rib to a secret place in The Garden of Eden. So beautiful with trees that changed color in the light, and grass that whistled as the breeze traveled through its blades, The Garden was already special. This secret place was even more special, almost as if it were a heavenly workshop.

With the rib suspended in air, God began to fashion a human form which was centered around the rib. The rib is of importance because ribs protect the lungs and the heart. God chose to fashion woman from the bones that protect a man’s heart. As God began to craft this human shape, he made sure to make her lines soft and subtle.  He gave her beautiful eyes to captivate, and hips for crafting children of her own. God gave her a willingness to serve, patience and a gentle spirit. All the angels in heaven and all the animals of The Garden, served as his audience. The word and the spirit were present there also.

A timeless God, not bound by the past, present or future, took a moment to admire the beauty in his creation. As Adam was beginning to awaken God picked up the woman, held her in his unchanging hand, and brought her to the man. Adam awoke to see the most beautiful creature who contained a peice of him inside of her. God’s glory radiated from her form.  After having named all the animals Earth and not finding companionship, Adam for a moment was speechless. He gazed for a while and said:


“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

I joined all the angels in heaven, as they rejoiced in the marriage of Adam and Eve.

Buying Into Your Story

Check it out:

Hey guys. This was on my mind for a minute. What I’m about to say has no Biblical ties to it that I know of….

Do you realize what happens with you Flirt? Spit Game? Put in work? Or whatever it’s called this week? As men we have a tendency to talk ourselves up to women. We will say where we work, flaunt our cars, and show off our prosperity. But why? For some guys we want to find someone to settle down with. For others it’s more about impressing a woman enough to go to bed with her for a night and then move on to the next one in line.

Sold!

See, thing is for most women….. it’s different. Women “Buy In” to what we are saying in a lot of cases. They believe us when we say we want to “find someone special” or when we say we are different from “other guys.” The ladies are wired up differently. After a certain point they start looking for someone they can be with long term. Sure, there are women out there who play the game, but their numbers are few. I have proof…….

Have you ever heard a guy say “My girl is mad. She wants to settle down, but she knows I’m not ready yet. We are just cool.” Most guys don’t realize that while in the beginning what might start off as a “casual relationship”, turns into what a woman perceives as exclusive dating. As men, we will let women help us with things, cook for us, buy us clothes, etc. Then we wonder why they get mad when they find out we were dating someone else. They get mad because we sold them on a possible life they could have with us, and they decided to stick with you. These women love your good qualities, and accept your bad ones. THAT’S why they get so mad. Cause your breath might be funky, or your don’t have a good job, yet they have accepted who you are, and are willing to build something with you. Even though you go to bed with beer breath, stinky feet, no job and then want to make love. <– That last line is for married folks only. Ha Ha.

Solution:

Guys, don’t “Date” a woman for months and months if you aren’t going to be serious with her. It’s OK if you are dating multiple people ONLY and I stress ONLY if you aren’t seeing those same people over and over again. At some point it’s going to be implied that you are more than just casually dating. Women don’t like to waste time, and there isn’t any middle ground. In their minds, either you are together or you aren’t.  When you are dating it needs to be purposeful. Identify who you could see yourself with, and who you can’t. If you can’t see yourself with someone, cut them loose to find their soul-mate. No one wants their time wasted. If you find that a woman is willing to do anything for you, and she loves you, throw that line out buddy and reel her in.

Biblically:

OK, I had to throw this in there. Biblically, you need to be dating with the intent to marry. Ok there, I said it.

-PJ

Still get the silent treatment….

Men,  this one is strictly for you.  This is going to be short….

Ladies,  avert your eyes.  Look away.

Men.  Sometime no matter what you do or how hard you try to be a good husband and do the right thing,  you will still get the silent treatment.  You could feel you are doing everything “right”,  just suck it up and move on…  This too shall pass.

Ok,  back to our regularly scheduled program.

Be Encouraged

Just a quick note…

Sometimes its hard to be in a relationship.  You are trying to learn your spouse and understand what they want and need.  Although you may never fully understand them,  God helps us to learn them in ways that we couldnt on our own.

Be encouraged in the Lord,  and enjoy your mate.  God wants you to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life with this person.

Chasing Skirts + High Heels

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Let me be real with you guys for a second..

You are standing outside on the phone, minding your own business when you hear the universal “click, clop” sound of high heels behind you. You try to be cool and slowly turn around as if you were about to do so anyway to see the body that is attached to those heels. You spin around to find a slender hour glass shaped woman briskly walking with purpose. Your eyes follow her as she trots past you, taking in her entire figure. After she’s out of eyesight, you realize you completely missed what your wife was telling you on the phone…..

We will always be men. We have a strong desire to find a woman, marry her, and make babies. I know plenty of men who love their wives with all of their hearts, but can’t seem to stop the eye wandering. We are going to take a look at this today. Keep in mind this topic could EASILY be made into a book, but I’m going to hit a few short items in this blog post. So don’t roast me about what I’ve missed…   =)

Here are the points I’m going to talk about:

  1. Lustfully staring at women is wrong no matter if you are married or not
  2. Lusting in your heart is the same as adultery
  3. Some tips and tricks to ignore the urge to glance twice
  4. It disgraces God’s image of marriage

Before digging into scripture and blasting you back to church, let’s imagine another scenario.  Suppose your wife or girlfriend is out with her friends. They are eating lunch at a cafe having a great time. Out of nowhere this 6 foot 5 man, with a body like solid rock goes walking by. Let’s imagine that your wife is staring at this man, gazing longingly at his muscles and wondering what sort of chest is hiding under his muscle shirt. How does that make you feel?

SELF CONTROL

You see, while men DO in fact have a drive to mate, it does not give us license to gawk, stare, cat call, or any other thing. As a men, we need to exhibit self control. Even if you are a single man, it is wrong. Take into consideration the following verse:

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matt 5:28

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Here we find Jesus giving his sermon on the mount. He says that “looking with lustful intent” is adultery. He doesn’t say “Oh we are men so we can’t help it”. He says it is WRONG. What is lustful intent? Seeing a pretty woman is not wrong. Even thinking she’s pretty is not wrong. It’s when you start undressing her with your eyes, wondering what’s under that dress, and thinking about how you would “hit that”.

A really good friend and mentor of mine gave me some advice. He talked about the “eye bounce”. He said that once your eyes lock on to the attractive woman you’ve just noticed, simply bounce your eyes away to something else. Trust me, it’s easier said than done. The cool thing is, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It will get to the point where you don’t even notice you are doing it.

God’s Image Of Marriage

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Genesis 2 20:-25 talks about how God created Eve from Adam’s rib, and how MAN and WOMAN unite to be come ONE FLESH. I stress this because God brings men and women together to become one unit. Your wife is now a part of you.Ephesians 5:25 tells us to love our wives as Christ loved the church. One thing about Christ is that he didn’t go around looking at people of other faiths or beliefs and say “Oh, my followers are cool, but those over there are even better!”. He stayed true to us, even to the point where he died for us on the cross. God wants us to be leaders to our wives and to be men that they can look up to and respect. How can a woman respect you if you are constantly gawking everywhere else? Trust me when I say that women are very perceptive, and even if you think they don’t see you looking, they really do notice.

I’m writing this because sometimes I’m guilty of it too. We are bombarded everyday with images of scantily clad women, and sometimes we mess up. Are we perfect? No! We are imperfect beings born into a sinful and fallen world. We triumph when we recognize our shortcomings and ask Christ to make us better. Just remember that he created you, and he can help you change your life for the better. Just pray and ask.

Be Blessed,

-PJ

Christian Swag

One of the funnier slang words ive come across over my years is the word “swag”.  It generally means to “have great confidence”. 

As christian men,  we need to have a swagger about us.  We need to know who we are in Christ,  and not deviate from following his word.  People need to be able to see Christ in our lives,  and our faith should be evidenced in our walk.

Christ had a reputation.  A good one.  All he had to do was get close to a city,  and people prepared for his arrival.  We should try to attain the same sort of reputation.  People should know your a Christian.  They should hear about it from others as we walk into a room.  They shouldnt have to ask you if you are one,  it should just be common knowledge.

Take a moment to think about your own life.  Are you exhibiting Christian swag?

Or are you trying to blend in with the world?

PJ