Let me be real with you guys for a second..
You are standing outside on the phone, minding your own business when you hear the universal “click, clop” sound of high heels behind you. You try to be cool and slowly turn around as if you were about to do so anyway to see the body that is attached to those heels. You spin around to find a slender hour glass shaped woman briskly walking with purpose. Your eyes follow her as she trots past you, taking in her entire figure. After she’s out of eyesight, you realize you completely missed what your wife was telling you on the phone…..
We will always be men. We have a strong desire to find a woman, marry her, and make babies. I know plenty of men who love their wives with all of their hearts, but can’t seem to stop the eye wandering. We are going to take a look at this today. Keep in mind this topic could EASILY be made into a book, but I’m going to hit a few short items in this blog post. So don’t roast me about what I’ve missed… =)
Here are the points I’m going to talk about:
- Lustfully staring at women is wrong no matter if you are married or not
- Lusting in your heart is the same as adultery
- Some tips and tricks to ignore the urge to glance twice
- It disgraces God’s image of marriage
Before digging into scripture and blasting you back to church, let’s imagine another scenario. Suppose your wife or girlfriend is out with her friends. They are eating lunch at a cafe having a great time. Out of nowhere this 6 foot 5 man, with a body like solid rock goes walking by. Let’s imagine that your wife is staring at this man, gazing longingly at his muscles and wondering what sort of chest is hiding under his muscle shirt. How does that make you feel?
You see, while men DO in fact have a drive to mate, it does not give us license to gawk, stare, cat call, or any other thing. As a men, we need to exhibit self control. Even if you are a single man, it is wrong. Take into consideration the following verse:
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matt 5:28
Here we find Jesus giving his sermon on the mount. He says that “looking with lustful intent” is adultery. He doesn’t say “Oh we are men so we can’t help it”. He says it is WRONG. What is lustful intent? Seeing a pretty woman is not wrong. Even thinking she’s pretty is not wrong. It’s when you start undressing her with your eyes, wondering what’s under that dress, and thinking about how you would “hit that”.
A really good friend and mentor of mine gave me some advice. He talked about the “eye bounce”. He said that once your eyes lock on to the attractive woman you’ve just noticed, simply bounce your eyes away to something else. Trust me, it’s easier said than done. The cool thing is, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It will get to the point where you don’t even notice you are doing it.
God’s Image Of Marriage
Genesis 2 20:-25 talks about how God created Eve from Adam’s rib, and how MAN and WOMAN unite to be come ONE FLESH. I stress this because God brings men and women together to become one unit. Your wife is now a part of you.Ephesians 5:25 tells us to love our wives as Christ loved the church. One thing about Christ is that he didn’t go around looking at people of other faiths or beliefs and say “Oh, my followers are cool, but those over there are even better!”. He stayed true to us, even to the point where he died for us on the cross. God wants us to be leaders to our wives and to be men that they can look up to and respect. How can a woman respect you if you are constantly gawking everywhere else? Trust me when I say that women are very perceptive, and even if you think they don’t see you looking, they really do notice.
I’m writing this because sometimes I’m guilty of it too. We are bombarded everyday with images of scantily clad women, and sometimes we mess up. Are we perfect? No! We are imperfect beings born into a sinful and fallen world. We triumph when we recognize our shortcomings and ask Christ to make us better. Just remember that he created you, and he can help you change your life for the better. Just pray and ask.